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Yep, that is a genuine, actual, real buttprint. Of a Sasquatch (probably), not a Yeti, but hey, we're all family here. More about the Minion Fieldtrip at the bottom of this newsletter.
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But first, a few important Scarefest reminders and updates:
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- AVL Scarefest is officially 3 months away! Aaaaahhhh!!
- We are still looking for GMs and Minionettes. If you'd like a discounted ticket, we are happy to help you by helping us! Or possibly something more charitable sounding than that... At any rate, we're desperately trying to wrangle the schedule (which, naturally, has become animate and is trying to eat the Baby Miniature Dire Goats), and it would really help us out if you would let us know you want to volunteer sooner, rather than later. So much so that we actually got The Overlord to agree to give everyone who volunteers before August 1 an extra token. That's right...one extra shot to win one of our fabulous prizes! Do it! Do it now!
- At this point in time, we have sold over half our tickets, and over half our lodging. So if you haven't gotten yours yet...it's probably time.
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Store News
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About meal tickets...
Getting our visitors fed has always been one of the largest challenges of Scarefest. We'll spare you the whole, sad saga here, but suffice it to say that this year we are again offering meal tickets...and not many are selling. It's not hard to figure out why; we're aware that they are more expensive than last year. This is simply because caterers charge a small fortune per meal, as it turns out (we Minions had to write "I will get a quote first..." on the blackboard in the bunker 5 times for every dollar lost on last year's meal tickets...Minion #4 no longer has fingers...just little skeletal stubs at the end of it's palms).
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Anyway, here's where we are: if we don't get many more signups for meal tickets, we can scale back to delivery from local restaurants instead of caterers, and it's actually cheaper per person (we'll refund you the difference). If we get a lot more meal ticket signups, we can negotiate with the caterers, and it'll probably come out cheaper (and we'll refund you the difference). If we get a moderate amount more signups...we're probably charging about right, but hey! Many of you will be happily fed. So please, please please...if you are teetering on the question of the meal ticket, it would really help us out if you'd go ahead and make your choice, so that we can plan how to feed you. Like, preferably within the next few weeks. Because caterers are scary and we don't want to anger them.
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And as always, if you don't want a meal ticket, that's completely and totally fine, just do plan ahead and bring your meals (particularly lunches), as it's difficult to get into Black Mountain, eat, and get back in the time allotted for breaks.
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Welcome to our ongoing section, Minion Corner, where we Minions get to tell you a little about our lives and what goes on outside the spotlight (Minion #22 has been taking a psychology course and says it will be "cathartic").
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This past weekend, we Minions did something unprecedented in our history together: we went on a field trip.
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To be fair, it was more of a sympathy mission. Or perhaps a “please stop howling” mission. At any rate, it was for the Yeti. Recently, he watched an episode of Sesame Street which focused on the concept of family. Shortly afterward, we found him sitting in a corner of the Paperwork Room, scribbling with dampened Pixy Stick dust on the backs of all the A27-E forms. We struggled at first to decipher the images, between the Yeti’s non-existent drawing ability, the general difficulty level of the stick-and-coloured-sugar-water drawing technique, and the shotglass-sized teardrops which had drenched the paper, but eventually we convinced the Yeti to explain: “Big Yeti, Big Yeti, Big Yeti, Little baby Yeti,” he said...and promptly burst into tears again. Needless to say, we were completely nonplussed.
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Over the coming days, we gradually realized that Action would have to be taken. The Yeti moved from Pixy dust scribblings to obsessively flicking through TV channels in search of nature documentaries and Harry and the Hendersons reruns (our television, incidentally, appears to only broadcast programming from at least 25 years ago...because of course it does). Eventually, even this lost his interest and we found him with his head and shoulders in the bay of ice machine, issuing strange (and exceedingly loud) calls into its echoey depths. Something had to be done.
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It was Minion #8 who discovered the Sasquatch Museum in Cherry Log, GA. He figured that if anywhere could give the Yeti a sense of connection to his long-lost family, it was there. After much discussion, it was decided that we would draw straws in order to determine who would accompany him into the Great Outside.
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We all drew the short straw.
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What follows is the photographic evidence of our journey. And we are pleased to report that last night, the Yeti slept through the night for the first time in 9 days. Although we still sometimes catch him staring wistfully into the back of the ice machine, for reasons beyond our comprehension.
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The Yeti was impressed with the studiousness of the caster. We were impressed with the toe spread.
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All the Minions were quietly relieved we didn't get the 36' model.
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...and now the Yeti is demanding 'sacred space'. We keep trying to explain we're Minions, not monks, but he doesn't seem to get the difference.
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Oh, were you wanting to hear more about the Mountainmouth and the mysterious ceilingdoor? Tune in next time...
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